My mum thought I should start this post by addressing you all as GBBOs (Great British Bake-Offers). I hastened to remind her that not everyone watches the bake-off and that this would be an unwise assumption to make about the readers of my blog. But mostly my thoughts about this opening were, well why?! It seems she is so enthusiastic about tonight’s instalment that it’s all she wants to talk about. So blame her for this side tracking event at the beginning of this post.
Now, moving on.
The past few days have been filled with animals. I received a meerkat toy from my aunties. It is called baby Oleg and it even came with it’s own adoption certificate which I have signed (obviously) and stuck to my wall of stuff. Ah yes, the wall of stuff. I have been sticking up all the cards you’ve been sending me. There aren’t a whole lot yet (you disgraceful slackers) but my sister has been filling the gaps by printing off pictures of the most random things, including sloths and Dame Maggie Smith.
Now I’ll explain why there are sloths. Not in the picture above but now there are (I should have updated it but meh). The sloths are there to remind me that I, too, am in fact a sloth. Yesterday morning I felt very tired indeed (probably because I’ve got cancer but you know, could be because I’ve been doing so much vigorous exercise recently). I felt like I was drunk really but not with the added buzz of the alcohol. My limbs felt heavy and slow and I felt like, well, like a sloth. So my sister decided that my lethargic moments would now be referred to as sloth moments and that I should have a picture of sloths to remind me of my close connection with them. Also, sloths are funny to look at.
The third animal I’ve been very close to this week has been the elephant shrew. My sister and I were watching this animal program and she started telling me about this really cute creature she liked but she couldn’t remember the name of. She told me it had a little snout so I was guessing things like anteaters and stuff. She still couldn’t remember it. Duncan and I were getting frustrated with this so she let it go. Later that evening I received a text from her saying, “It’s called the Elephant Shrew”. Well I thought, what kind of a name is that for an animal?! And then I looked it up and found this picture. (If you don’t go awww you’re a heartless person and I suspect part robot).
Other stuff has been going on too. I completed my expert Lego. Here is a photo.
I mean just look at the skill….Yes there was an instruction booklet…Yes I did have to restrain myself from completing it in one day…No I won’t take it apart and do it again…Yes I am going to get Tower Bridge next.
(Just a note, I’m currently watching ‘Young Vets’ with my mum which is a great programme you all need to see it and the vets are doing pregnancy tests on the cows which involves shoving your entire arm inside the cow’s butt, and the cows this week are getting quite agitated and mooing a lot, and my mum keeps pointing at the TV and whispering ‘Bastards’ in a strained Sheffield accent).
Sorry, need to stop getting sidetracked. Okay PLATELETS!
Had them yesterday. They basically look like chicken soup. Here’s a photo.
Anyway that took about half an hour to drip through and I’m probably going to get more of them and more BLOOD in a couple of days.
Yesterday I also left my room for the first time in over a week (and you thought you were a recluse…). I went for an ultrasound on one of the enlarged glands on my neck. Nothing too serious or new to report on that one, just good that it’s not septic or anything. Since my Henry 8th Collar has disappeared this lump has been more noticeable but I suspect it’s just taking a bit longer than the others to go down. I’ll keep you updated on that one,
But anyway, leaving my room is a real process and involves me ‘masking up’, Here is a photo of me looking like I’ve got some infectious disease and am about to go fuck shit up in the rest of the hospital.
That’s all folks!!